i'm fresh out of brilliant ideas
breaking up didn't go so well because i tried, then got really emotional and confused and so i sneakily reversed the breakup by initiating a series of angry shouting matches that somehow resulted in things going almost exactly the way i wanted because with me things almost always work that way. so i still have a boyfriend but i'm still sad and i'm still confused. and i still hate outback.

but the find a new city part worked real goooood. i found williamsburg. i found it because brittany is moving there. so i'm going with her.

on sadness
i need to break up with my boyfriend. and i need to find a new city to live in.

the early eve of carnivorous doom
the beasts at Outback were particularly savage today. i don't understand why nobody likes me there. i don't like them either but i would LIKE to think of myself as at least 40% lovable. i am quickly learning that this opinion is shared with, as of now, approximately 1-2% of the population of My World (which includes all positive, negative, and neutral recently-encountered, thought-processing beings. interpret that however you like because only my interpretation matters). Brittany says they are all stupid, jeaous, and ugly. this is all true except for the jealous part. nobody is actually jealous of me, because #1. i have "too many social and behavioral issues" to be anybody's hero, and #2. they're all too pretentious, with their noses so far up their butts sniffing the intoxicating scent of their own bullshit to see past the vastness of their disgusting auras of self-righteousness. infernal dust bunnies is what they are, blast them. flaming goddamn creatures of hell that take the shape of pestulant suburban floppy-eared beasties. i immensely dislike them all, and that's the truth.

stephanie comes home tomorrow, i get to see her for an hour or so before i have to go play housewife to the great community of midlothian.

i think i hate my life. i can't tell if i'm depressed or bitter and cynical. i'm going to go play with the puppy-beast now. it cheers me up.

aggrivation update: i have a splinter real deep in my foot and it grieves me. i found a dead tick on my floor. that is just disgusting.

combustion in terms of the multi-exponential human directory
so... this is livejournal, eh? don't read this if you appreciate things like correct grammar and Properly Capitalized Pronouns and so on... i don't have the time for that shit.

another birthday was semi-pointless. twenty has a lack of perks. "today" or should i say yesterday? was the first day of spring. and for maybe two and a half minutes this morning i thought i'd been bitten by the beautiful but flightless INSPIRATION BEETLE how EVER as soon as i sat down with my new (non-cyber) journal and a cigarette on the back porch........ all i could think about was how utterly pointless my birthday was. and that depressed me in terms of the sickly mad scientist asleep in the spare bedroom and all the drama associated with THAT whole .. thing. so my career as a successful but reclusive, inspirational but irrational mind-fucking short story writer is going ...not good. ineffective i think is a good word here. like dubyuhs economy stimulous plan. what a crocabull. Crocabull? yes.

and so now i'm puppy-sitting and the thing keeps climbing on top of my already growed-up dog, which he finds entirely displeasing, so the little one keeps falling off and all. cute, yeah, i know. their curious love-hate slash daddy-daughter slash pedofile-innocentrecievingendvictim relationship has been keeping me amused all evening. after i splurged like $30 on BOOKS. that i won't even read until i stop being so lazy and unmotivated. and who the fuck knows when THATS going to magically happen.

but i want to read them. points for trying? maybe not.

here's what i SHOULD do right now: 1. clean my room 2. make sure that creature didn't piss in its box 3. watch a movie

here's what i'll most likely do right now: 1. smoke a cigarette 2. watch a movie

oh and i'm also gonna waste at least a few minutes having fun with the mood chooser... AYE! WHOA IS ME, a petty crack head of compulsive liars!!!!!!!



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